Bon Voyage 2009-Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

I am so ready to scream "Auf Wiedersehen" to 2009 and enthusiastically begin 2010 with a new invigorated sense of self. This year has been rough; I'm not even going to lie. Broken relationships have cast a dark shadow over what otherwise would have been viewed as a somewhat excellent year. Watching my boys transform from squirming little worms to bustling, dirt eating boys has been an amazing experience. They are finally showcasing their individual personalities, and I can already predict what is in store for me in years to come. Dylan, the showboat of the clan fits the "boy" stereotype perfectly; always on the move and obscenely headstrong. He crawled first, walked first, talked first and just generally feels the need to overcome any obstacle placed in his way. Although the smaller of the twins, he has a dominating presence over Chase and is often caught stealing food and toys from his helpless little brother. Under that domineering façade, however, he is a total sweetheart. He is always quick to run to Chase's defense to provide a helping hand. Whenever Chase is in the middle of one of his many daily meltdowns, Dylan makes sure to run over and give him a quick "It will be okay" pat on the back. It comforts me to know that Dylan is already so aware and understanding of his brother's feelings. (Although, it does make me a little nervous; I have a feeling my boys might be quite the pair of rebels). Then there is Chase, the sensitive of the two. He is no rush to beat any developmental milestones and is perfectly content with being alone in the corner building towers. He has an insane sense of attention to detail. If there is even a sparkle of glitter on the floor, with hawk-like eyes he will see it, and run over to investigate. Deemed by some as the "crybaby", he is quick to overreact in situations. God forbid you cut him off as he beelines to the puddle of mud for a quick snack (he has a strange fascination with eating nature: leaves, dirt, grass…I don't get it). A meltdown is in store if you take to long delivering his milk or don't pick him up at his first command. But he is just so cute and cuddly that I don't see his minor crying problem that big of an issue. All mothers say this and it's totally cliché but my kids are literally the coolest kids ever. Hello, they are twins yet different in every way possible. (BTW…you won't believe how many times I am stopped and asked if A) they are twins and then B) are they identical. I'm sorry, please define identical for me. Now look at my children. One has blonde hair, blue eyes and casper white skin and the other is strangely tan, has brown hair and brown eyes. NO THEY ARE NOT IDENTICAL!!) When it comes to my twins, I could not have been blessed and I can't wait for what 2010 has in store for the three of us.
I love working. I stayed home with the twins for 6 weeks before I realized that being a stay at home mom is not my thing. I felt completely suffocated being stuck at home with the kids all day eagerly awaiting the arrival of the boy's father so I could have some sort of intellectual conversation. I just feel that by staying home with your children you almost loose a sense of what you are in relation to the rest of the world. You are a maid, a cook, a nanny (all things I do NOT want to be 24/7). I can relate my pursuing a job to the destruction of my relationship. Making my own money and paving my own path really helped me to gain confidence and independence. I don't need a man to take care of me and macho-egotism doesn't appreciate that mentality; a lot of men can't handle independent women. 2009 was so great to me career wise. I am one of the fortunate ones who succeeded in landing a job with actual career growth. I still have a long way to go until I reach my ultimate career aspirations, but we all have to start off somewhere. Luckily, I am in the perfect position to get to where I plan on going.
Love….yikes. Love was NOT my best category this year. I won't go into detail because I don't feel like writing a novel right now, but I enter 2010 with a fresh mind. I don't really care if this upcoming year is kind to me in the love department. I am still trying to figure out who adult Amber is and I don't need a man interrupting my year of self realization. (But if it falls into my lap, I'll take it J ) It seems as though this year has spit out more engaged, married, or pregnant facebook friends then those before it. And only more people and more people will fall into those categories in 2010. I'm sure next December when Erica, my sis, and I are out facebook stalking, we will become saddened by how so-and-so is married and we are not. That's just what happens to single women over the holidays; we get depressed over what others view as a woman's shortcomings. After a quick pity party, we move on. Who wants to be married anyways? (Damn it…we do, but you didn't hear it from me)

I'm excited for 2010. I think that it is going to be an amazing adventure and believe me; I am ready for the ride!

It’s Not Easy Growing Up…

I have recently observed a strange yet noticeable pattern in the way that people exit college and begin their long journey through the mean, unforgiving job market. It appears that there are two paths traveled by recent college graduates, and the path one chooses has a strong correlation with the college friends that they will remain friends with long after their years at school.

Let's look at me for example. Yes, I did accidently get pregnant in college and was then hit with another hurdle when, whoops again, it was twins. Did I throw up my hands in defeat and declare my future over? Nope. I became apart of the group of college graduates called the "Young Professionals". We are the ones who choose to establish ourselves in our chosen careers through entry level jobs; we bust out of the flood gates eager and enthusiastic about our long haul up the corporate ladder. Success is important to us. We want it, and we are willing to work hard to achieve it. Happy hour is our best friend, as it is a way for us to unwind after dealing with the mundane issues that naturally accompany full-time work. Issues such as backstabbing coworkers, random corporate hookups, and why you hate your next door cube mate infiltrate our bar discussions. (Don't get me wrong, we aren't dead, so we still love to talk about relationships, sex and our occasional night of to many drinks). Normally equipped with the finances to stimulate the economy, we drive nice cars, wear nice clothes and are seen in groves at all of the most up and coming city hangouts. I love being apart of this group. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished then to know that one day I will be able to afford the life I have always wanted. I want the American dream. Big house, Mercedes and perfect children, and guess what, despite what I have been raised to believe, I can accomplish all of that all on my own. (Clarification: I am just saying that me, myself, and I wants to make my own future, and I don't want to rely on someone else to make it for me).

Then there is the other path chosen. The "lost ones" as I have named them. I have noticed that they are on a completely different level in life and attitude then us, Young Professionals. They are the ones who feel that just by graduating college they have accomplished it all. Who wants to enter the workforce and get a 9-5 entry level job when you can go out and party every night and excuse your negligent behavior by stated that you graduated from college? It is okay that you aren't really utilizing that expensive education your parents had pumped their hard earning savings on because, hello, you have a degree. Not okay. Or at least not okay in my book, but then again, I have been known to be somewhat judgmental. I just don't understand that behavior. What did you go to college for if you don't want to have the kind of job that your degree entails? I also like to include the following into the group: college graduates that are under the impression that because they have a degree they deserve 50K a year starting off. Quit smoking the crack, most of my friends are liberal arts majors and reality check….not a very lucrative degree unless you get very lucky and find your niche.

It's been almost two years since I have left that amazing playground known as UTSA. I had a lot of fun. I don't regret anything I did or didn't do as I made sure that when I was done with that phase in my life, big girl mode would kick in and I would be over the crazy lifestyle. It saddens me that I have friends who haven't had the same life realization. And I don't blame my newfound maturity on my having children, because the friends that I remain closest to don't have children yet have the same mentality as me. It is sad to see close college friendships end but at one point in your life you have to realize that people are bound to take different paths. It is hard to relate to those who choose a different path then you, believe me, I know. Maturity is a tough pill to swallow but some of us have to do it.