There’s a little white trash in us all

Is it ever okay to engage in a girl fight? I have been questioning that all day after the adventure I had last night that involved me getting drawn into a verbal altercation with a trash-talking, teeny-bopper girl and subsequently getting escorted out by management. How embarrassing is that? Seriously, who gets escorted out of a bar? Obviously, I do.

I tend to patron the bars that haven't been infiltrated with the 21 year old college girls whose sole purpose in drinking is to get wasted and act ridiculous. The planned meeting was intended to be a celebratory gathering to officially congratulate my sorority sister's amazing new job offer that she worked her butt off to land. And since I had to be in the office at 730 come Friday morning, the date was planned to be a short get together for a few drinks before retreating home to catch a good nights sleep. That didn't happen.

Nat and I were hanging out by the bar engaged in conversation when this girl began running her mouth next to me. Nothing irritates me more than girls who find the need to vocalize their own insecurities by bashing others. Did this girl really find it necessary to devote her thirty minute conversation to my outfit selection? No. This is where I will accept a little of the blame for what follows. I could have taken the high road, walked away, and avoided the whole situation and normally, that would have been the preferred protocol. Instead, I turned around and engaged in conversation with the shit talker. I must note that the tone I had applied to my questions and responses was one of condescendence and mockery (which she quickly picked up on). After I sarcastically complimented her on her paring of a bedazzled blazer, blue jean skirt and hot pink leggings, she realized I had officially put up my subtle boxing gloves. Pink leggings (my appointed nickname for the girl) then started getting in my face threatening physical violence. Considering I had about 20 pounds on the girl, I wasn't at all concerned over my safety. I pegged her the moment I heard her talking crap about my friend and I. Pink leggings was one of those girls who runs her mouth because deep down she knows that girls are often to afraid or hesitant to speak up for themselves for fear of being judged as trashy. I didn't think I was acting trashy by making it obvious to this little girl that I didn't appreciate her attitude. And when she started bouncing around me like a cracked out monkey, I again, knew that deep down she had already realized that I would never get physical, only fueling her need to appear to have the upper hand by asking me to hit to her. (I seriously felt as though I was having an out of body experience because I've only seen girls behave like that in the movies). After she and I butted heads for about 5 minutes, the bouncer swooped in and asked Nat and I to leave. I was a little pissed considering she was the one threatening physical violence on me, but I understand the bouncers awareness that the girl was a little crazy and would probably not leave without a fight. I walked to my car in shame as I had just done what I have always believed to be so tacky; I caused a scene at a bar. My attitude changed when I woke up this morning. I saw my reaction as my being a vocal, independent woman who is willing to stick up for herself. And secretly, deep down I do kind of wish I had gotten in one good punch (the animalistic nature in me). That would have really put that annoying little thing in her place.

Singlehood=Narcissism

"Why am I still single" is on the mind of every single, unmarried woman in her 20s. I ask myself the same question every single day. I'm not perfect, but if my parents consistent insistence that I am a good catch means anything, how could I not be married by now? (And no, they don't have to just say that because they are my parents.)

As I look at my single friends, I question their singledom as well. Why are all of these beautiful, smart and sweet women still single? While browsing through my favorite girly online blog yesterday I came across an article entitled, "Why I'm still single". I was slightly insulted by the articles insistence that the large influx of single women is a direct result of women gaining more independence and becoming less reliant on men. Us, women, have become so picky that we easily and often cast aside a guy due to one simple deviation in the image we have constructed in our minds of the perfect man. I'm well aware that the independent, picky woman they were describing is me in a nutshell. Why don't I have the right to be career driven and selective about the men I want to be in a relationship with? Why was the notion that men are equally as picky about their mates not addressed? We live in a society where we want it all. Women want a man who is attractive, funny and successful and men want a woman who is smart (but not overly driven), beautiful and sweet; everyone wants the perfect partner.

I've pretty much come to terms that I am going to be single for a while. I just illuminate bitchiness (my friends blame it on my being taller than 80% of the people in this city; they believe people are intimidated by tall people.) I would not say that I am bitchy, just honest. I don't feel the need to go through life faking emotions and compatibility. I don't make an effort to humor men that hit on me when they should know from the start that they don't have a chance. I don't have the time or energy to engage in forced conversation that I know will not lead to anything. You have five minutes to wow and if it isn't happening by then, goodbye. Not bitchy, honest and straightforward.

From what I stated above, I have completely type casted myself into the stereotype derived by that article. I, too, from the attitude described, walk around with the notion that I deserve it all. That's the point I am trying to make. We have all become narcissistic. We walk around with the idea that we are better than others because we have more facebook friends, better job, a marriage, etc then our peers. And it is a direct result of that narcissus why there are so many singles out there. It is not because only women have become picky, but men have as well. The attractive men have determined that they are such a great catch that they have no need to seek out women because the women will come to them. Men who are seemingly normal have decided that because they are somewhat successful, they too deserve a perfect ten. It appears to me that everyone walks around with this attitude that because they have something, they deserve everything. The big question is who is going to back down. Both sexes are like rams butting heads, each trying to prove that they hold all of the cards in the dating world. It is a difficult, complex world 20 something's are dealing with. To those who have been lucky enough to find their ideal partner, congratulations. To the rest of us who are still wadding in the pool of singlehood, good luck. You and I are going to need it.