Singlehood=Narcissism

"Why am I still single" is on the mind of every single, unmarried woman in her 20s. I ask myself the same question every single day. I'm not perfect, but if my parents consistent insistence that I am a good catch means anything, how could I not be married by now? (And no, they don't have to just say that because they are my parents.)

As I look at my single friends, I question their singledom as well. Why are all of these beautiful, smart and sweet women still single? While browsing through my favorite girly online blog yesterday I came across an article entitled, "Why I'm still single". I was slightly insulted by the articles insistence that the large influx of single women is a direct result of women gaining more independence and becoming less reliant on men. Us, women, have become so picky that we easily and often cast aside a guy due to one simple deviation in the image we have constructed in our minds of the perfect man. I'm well aware that the independent, picky woman they were describing is me in a nutshell. Why don't I have the right to be career driven and selective about the men I want to be in a relationship with? Why was the notion that men are equally as picky about their mates not addressed? We live in a society where we want it all. Women want a man who is attractive, funny and successful and men want a woman who is smart (but not overly driven), beautiful and sweet; everyone wants the perfect partner.

I've pretty much come to terms that I am going to be single for a while. I just illuminate bitchiness (my friends blame it on my being taller than 80% of the people in this city; they believe people are intimidated by tall people.) I would not say that I am bitchy, just honest. I don't feel the need to go through life faking emotions and compatibility. I don't make an effort to humor men that hit on me when they should know from the start that they don't have a chance. I don't have the time or energy to engage in forced conversation that I know will not lead to anything. You have five minutes to wow and if it isn't happening by then, goodbye. Not bitchy, honest and straightforward.

From what I stated above, I have completely type casted myself into the stereotype derived by that article. I, too, from the attitude described, walk around with the notion that I deserve it all. That's the point I am trying to make. We have all become narcissistic. We walk around with the idea that we are better than others because we have more facebook friends, better job, a marriage, etc then our peers. And it is a direct result of that narcissus why there are so many singles out there. It is not because only women have become picky, but men have as well. The attractive men have determined that they are such a great catch that they have no need to seek out women because the women will come to them. Men who are seemingly normal have decided that because they are somewhat successful, they too deserve a perfect ten. It appears to me that everyone walks around with this attitude that because they have something, they deserve everything. The big question is who is going to back down. Both sexes are like rams butting heads, each trying to prove that they hold all of the cards in the dating world. It is a difficult, complex world 20 something's are dealing with. To those who have been lucky enough to find their ideal partner, congratulations. To the rest of us who are still wadding in the pool of singlehood, good luck. You and I are going to need it.